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This year represents a full decade since the word “disappearing” hit the public consciousness. At the time, the notion that someone could abruptly cease contact with a partner without any notice seemed like the height of indignity. Our innocence was charming. In the decade since, navigating toward a partner has only become more perplexing – an frequently unsuccessful endeavor in awkwardness that is increasingly shaped by social media slang.

Zoomers, a demographic who matured during a loneliness crisis, a masculinity reckoning, and a concerted challenge on the freedoms of females and the queer community, faces a significantly more chaotic landscape than their millennial forerunners could ever fathom. And so their romantic vocabulary has grown more elaborate and more deranged, with expressions like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” pushing the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

Below is a extensive guide to the phrases Zoomers is using to navigate romance, sex and the quest of both. To paraphrase one of the recent most enduring online sayings, by the conclusion of this list you’ll long to get back to a bygone era – because wherever that is, it doesn’t have “ideological catfishing”.

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The Letter A

Genuineness – According to gen Z, dating’s ultimate goal is presenting as your real, unvarnished self. Best wishes with that!

The Letter B

Avian theory – A online phenomenon inspired by a methodology developed by relationship scientists, in which you bring up something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and pay attention to whether your partner’s reply is engaged or dismissive. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Independent partner – Zoomers' answer to the “manic pixie dream girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking indie music and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend focuses on her own needs while exuding mystery and independence. (She could possibly have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Seat theory – This signifies choosing someone who supports you proactively. If you walked into a room, they would fetch a seat for you to take a load off.

Task-based bonding – A date where two people connect while running errands, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how broke people in their 20s do low-cost romance in a post-cheap-date world.

Emotional spiral – Losing it when you feel swamped by life. You can lose it over a crush or split, dumping all of your (unrequited) emotions.

The Letter D

DINK – Double income, no kids. Once a symbol of 80s yuppie affluence, it describes partners who forgo parenthood to prioritize their own happiness. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

E

Emotional vibe coding – The opposite of acting aloof: practicing dialogue, transparency and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Signals

• Danger signals – Behavioral quirks signaling a prospective partner is bad news. Examples include calling their former partners unstable, subpar gratuity habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a new DJ career …
• Positive signs – These traits affirm your choice to pursue a partner. For instance following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, low screen time, having a proper bed …
• Beige flags – These usually describe niche, largely harmless quirks. Examples include being an keen ornithologist, still carrying around a pen in their purse, paying the rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you meet someone who’s just as passionate about films about the WWII or DVD collecting or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who loathes the same stuff or individuals that you do (few things creates closeness faster than sharing a common enemy).

The Letter G

Geese – A musical group many young men is into.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a period of ghosting.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is affable, accommodating and loyal. The rare boyfriend who is beloved by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's counterpart.

Gooners – A mostly online subculture of men so obsessed with masturbation that they attempt lengthy sessions, purposefully delaying climax so they can continue as long as possible.

The Letter H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A trend describing many women’s increasing pessimism toward straight relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

High-value woman – An stereotype touted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and contentedly domestic, who apparently has no aspirations of her own aside from satisfying her man partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to understand the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Icks – Random and often mundane dealbreakers that instantly kill any feelings of interest.

“He would if he cared" – Something to remember after you watch someone else get an incredibly sweet display.

The Letter J

Professions – These have not been this important in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “banker” is the ultimate partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd prefer partners in fields they believe are being staffed by the more caring among us: healthcare workers, educators or counselors.

The Letter K

Kissing – This year, scientists learned that kissing has been around for 16 million years. But the days of locking lips may be numbered since some Zoomers prefer fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy believable.

Kittenfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more important than it is. Also known as {